Choosing Joy Whatever the Weather

One thing I am always striving for, wanting, needing is growth in my relationship with Jesus. I never want to be content with where things are between me and Him. Don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean I never want to be happy or fulfilled in Him. I am (most of the time) both of those things, but I know that I will never understand or appreciate Jesus in His full glory on this earth and that makes me want to know Him as deeply as I, a mere sinful human, can right now. God really got a hold of my life last fall and in these last few months I've felt like I've been closer to Him then I had been in years previous.  I've sometimes wondered, though, how much I've actually grown in spiritual maturity. Two days ago, I got a bit of an answer to that question.

Tuesday afternoon I was at a friend's house in Warman babysitting her kiddos when I got a text from John: "I was in an accident. Not my fault. I'm fine. I'll need you to come pick me up though". My heart sank. I wasn't sure what he meant by "fine". Like, oh my leg is broken but I'm fine. I have a bloody gash in my head, but I'm fine. I immediately called him and he reassured me that he really was not hurt. His voice sounded normal, and my heart started to return to its normal rhythm. He told me that the car was pretty mangled in the front and definitely not driveable. He didn't know yet if it was going to be totalled off. 

Now, a year ago, news like this would've had me panicking. My thought process would've been something like Really? Now? When we're scrimping and saving for our adoption, now our car gets wrecked and we might have to dip into our precious savings? Why God, are you letting this happen? Let me tell you, I was actually shocked with the way I subconsciously handled this situation on Tuesday. This is proof in my mind that God is working and changing me! The first thoughts out of my head were all positive things: John is fine. Thank goodness we have my parent's car for the week, with their car seat. Our car seat will need to be replaced, but Cassidy was reaching the weight limit anyway and we would've had to buy a new one soon. Now we might get one for free! 

This was huge to me. I did not panic (after I knew John was fine. Before that, I was definitely panicking!) I defaulted to thankfulness, to praise. I praised God for the good things in the situation, and I had and still have peace that God will work this out. I'm not saying any of this to make you all think that I have arrived at the pinnacle of spiritual awesomeness or anything like that. No no no no no. Far from it. But I do hope I can encourage you in your walk with God. Wisdom seems to be my theme for the year (not by choice!) My daily devotional is about being a wise woman (based out of the Proverbs). I attended a women's conference last fall all about being a wise woman. I have been asking God to give me more wisdom. And He has. I can see in the way I handled this situation that I am a wiser person then I was a year ago. 

We still don't know the final word on our poor car. If we need to replace it, we probably won't get a lot for it and we will have to dip into our savings to buy another vehicle. I do not like that thought, but at the same time I'm not worried. Throughout this whole adoption process, I've always said that if this is God's will for us, then He will provide all the means necessary.  Simple as that. I do not need to worry. I am commanded not to worry. Just to trust. Choosing joy whatever the weather. The weather may be a bit stormy right now, but God is in control and that's all I need to know. Wherever you are right now, whether it's an easy season or a hard one, God's in control. Trust Him. Cast your cares upon Him, for His yoke is easy and His burden is light. He wants to carry you through this. He loves you!