A Day in the Life (Vegas Edition)

Tomorrow marks 2 weeks since we arrived in Las Vegas and Monday is 2 weeks since we met Aviannah. Sure feels longer then that! Actually, I don't ever know how we got along without her :) One of my biggest worries coming down here was that we'd all be super homesick and not enjoy ourselves. That is turning out to not be the case! Of course we're excited to get home, but we are finding that we are absolutely loving our time down here. It very much feels like a holiday, but the best kind, the kind where we can settle in and do our own thing with no strict agenda. It's wonderful. It's also a gorgeous city. It's neat because it's literally in the middle of a flat desert, yet it is entirely surrounded by mountains. Every direction you go, there are mountains in the distance. And palm trees. Lots of palm trees.

I just wanted to give you a glimpse into what a typical day looks like for us here. We've fallen into quite a nice routine. I'm glad, especially for Cassidy's sake. She needs routine, but don't we all? Here's a day in the life of the Letkemans!

7:00-7:30: Cassidy wakes up. Her and John head downstairs for breakfast. I go back to sleep :)

8:30ish: They come back upstairs. I get up and John leaves for the hospital to be there for Avi's 9:00 feeding. He spends the morning there and comes back after her 12:00 feeding.

8:30-12: Cassidy and I get dressed and ready for the day. We go downstairs and I eat breakfast and she eats a 2nd breakfast :) We play outside, or watch TV, or  if it's not to hot we go for a walk. 

12:00: Cassidy and I have lunch. John gets back around 12:30ish and eats his lunch.

1:00: Cassidy goes down for a nap. John and I either nap or just hang out together

2:30: I leave for the hospital to be there for Avi's 3:00 feeding. I stay until after her 6:00 feeding. She usually sleeps all afternoon so I bring a book and enjoy the snuggles :)

6:30ish: I get back and eat supper. After supper we try to go out and do something fun (and free). Yesterday we drove down the Strip, tonight we found a new park.

8:15: Head back to our room and get Cassidy ready for bed. 

8:30: Cassidy is in bed and John and I go out to the family room. We either read or watch a movie together, just enjoying each other's company and some downtime :) 

Not all of our days look like this, sometimes we have meetings with the lawyer or our adoption agency, but usually it is something along these lines. I must say though, I am counting down the days till Wednesday- the day that Aviannah gets to come home with us! It sure has been nice to ease into parenting her slowly though. We take care of her during the day, and yet at night we can leave her and know she'll be cared for by someone else. Seeing as we each spend 3 hours a day with her, we have both gotten to bond with her and learn about her in a special way. John is doing amazing, for having no experience with a newborn whatsoever. I think Aviannah must be trying to break him in, because she's pooped 4 times for him now and 0 for me! Not that I'm keeping score ;) I'm getting to know my way around the NICU pretty good. One of the nurses today told me I'm so efficient that they should just hire me! A nice compliment, but I think I'll stick to teaching piano :) 

I am really hoping we can be home in time for Father's Day. We have to stick around a few days after Aviannah's release for a follow up appointment and we're also waiting on our travel order from the US government. But hopefully, 2 weeks from now we'll be home! I can't wait!

Check, check, check!

So we're still doing good here in Viva Las Vegas, but boy is it getting hot! Cassidy and I walked to a nearby park yesterday morning. I was hoping to get out before it got too hot, but at 10:00 it was already almost 100F! I felt like I was getting a bit of heatstroke so we didn't stay out long. She seems to be coping with the heat just fine :)

This morning we met with our lawyer. He was very nice and is working with our agency to get the travel papers that we need. We don't need a passport, which is a huge answer to prayer, because that would've taken quite a while to get. We're still working on getting our citizenship papers here, but everything seems to be coming together nicely. It feels like we have one huge checklist that we have to complete before we can come home. Slowly we are getting stuff checked off! Adoption papers signed, check! Met with the lawyer, check! Of course, the biggest thing on the list is Aviannah.

She's now been off oxygen for 27 hours and is doing great! I went in this morning after we went to the lawyer's and the nurse told me she had a spell during her early morning feeding. Her levels dropped really low but she was able to recover by herself without any assistance, not even a pat on the back, which is good. The doctor came by while I was there and said he'd like her to go for 5 days without any spells, so that puts us at next Monday. If all has gone well, and she passes her car-seat test she will be good to go. We'll still need to stick around after she gets released so she can follow up with a pediatrician here before we take her home. I am super anxious to get home, but at the same time I am completely fine with staying her as long as we need to for her sake. I know the hospital won't let her go until they are absolutely sure she can handle the trip and I'm glad for that. We are taking Cassidy this afternoon to go see her baby sister. She's pretty excited :) Another thing that is so great about this hospital is that we don't have to pay for parking! Considering we spend 6+ hours a day there, I'm sure that is saving us a fortune!

We miss you all and can't wait to be home with you! Well, except Cassidy. I asked her the other day if she wanted to go back home to Warman and she said "No! I want to stay here!" :) I think once the time comes she'll be ready to leave but I'm thankful she's having a good time.

Settling In

We've been in Las Vegas for almost a week already, and I'm happy to say that we are settling in quite nicely. Both John and I didn't know what to expect of this city, but we are pleasantly surprised to find that we are really enjoying it here. The dry climate is actually kind of great! My hair thinks so anyway :) Everything is so clean and green (considering they get next to no rain, that's quite a feat) and it's surprisingly easy to get around. We found a baptist church near our place and we're excited to go check it out this Sunday!

We've fallen into a nice routine, although that will now change since my parents left this morning. That was hard watching them go. I've realized that no matter how old and grown-up you get, it always just feels better when Mom and Dad are around. John and I had the luxury of being able to go to the hospital together multiple times a day while they watched Cassidy. Now we have to take turns, which is not as fun. Aviannah is on a tight schedule. Every 3 hours she gets her temp taken, diaper changed and bottle fed. Other then that, they try to have her sleeping. The more she sleeps, the less calories and energy she burns and she needs to keep as many of those calories in her system as possible so she can grow, grow, grow! We try to be there for her late morning feeding, afternoon feeding and supper feeding. The first time I changed her diaper I was so nervous. Her legs are like toothpicks and I wasn't sure how to maneuver around all the wires. I've learned though that the babies aren't as fragile as they look. Watching the other nurses skillfully handle them has helped me feel more confident. Today I whipped through the changing with barely a peep from her :) It will sure be nice to not have wires to work around once we get out!

The hospital is truly amazing. The nurses and doctors have all been so helpful and kind and it's fun to see how excited they are for Avi and for us. It's easy to tell how much they love her. As much as I can't wait to get her out of there, I've grown quite fond of the place. I think it would be great to take her back when she's older and show her where she spent her first few months.

Speaking of getting her out...she may be released early next week! I talked to her doctor today and right now she's on .04 of oxygen, which is really just a whiff. They are lowering it down every day and hoping that they can sneak it away from her and if she does well, she can come "home" Monday or Tuesday! She is doing great with her eating and everything else. I am trying not to get too excited, but please pray that this can happen!!

We signed placement papers with our agency today. It was so great to finally meet all the people we've been emailing for so long. They have been so great. We're in touch with a lawyer down here and it sounds like as soon as we get the custody papers from him, and once Avi is released and stable, we can go home!! I don't know how long it will take to get the custody papers, but I'm hoping not long. Birth parents have already gone to court and relinquished their rights. We told the agency that if they want to meet us, we would love that so the social worker is going to contact them. It sounds like they want to keep in touch, although considering that they are homeless, I'm not sure how that will work.

That's all I have for an update right now. We are loving the Ronald McDonald house. We have access to all the food we want, there is a nice sitting room with tons of movies to watch and toys for Cassidy and everyone is so friendly! It is such a blessing to be here but we really miss everyone at home. Facebook and this blog have been such a nice way to keep everyone in the loop. Your prayers are definitely holding us up. Thank you for standing in the gap for us.

Avi's First Photoshoot

A very cool thing happened today!

This morning when we walked into the NICU there was a new baby beside Aviannah. I noticed right away that the baby's name on her bed was Ava. I thought "Oh neat, similar to Aviannah and they are roomates!" Her mom was there so we started chatting about our babies. I told her we were adopting Aviannah and she lit up and told me that she was fostering this baby and was hoping to adopt sometime in the future. She said she had heard about us because the nurses had gotten us mixed up. We quickly figured out why. Turns out her name is Mandy! (with a y). How cool is that? We have the same name and we both named our babies similar names! 

We continued to chat and she told me that she is a photographer and she asked if we'd like her to take some newborn pictures of Aviannah! Of course I said YES! So tomorrow morning we're meeting at the hospital to do some pics! I am so excited!! I went and bought Aviannah a frilly little outfit and some headbands this afternoon, and I can't wait to get her all dolled up!

I am so thankful that I met this woman and I don't think it's a coincidence that our babies ended up beside each other :) Can't wait to share pics from our photoshoot tomorrow! 

Madly in Love

I remember after we got the call about Cassidy and before we met her worrying that I wouldn't be able to love her as much as I would if she was biologically mine. I was worried that it would feel like I was raising someone else's baby and that she'd never feel like she was mine. All those fears were instantly erased the moment I met her, and I fell hard for that 9 month, blue eyed, brown haired beauty.

It's happened again. This time I've fallen hard for a tiny, 5lb, blond haired, blue eyed beauty,

We've been to the hospital 4 times now to visit Aviannah and it's harder to leave every time. This last time we stayed for almost 4 hours and it still wasn't enough. Leaving her in her tiny bed and watching her stare at us as we kiss her goodbye is just about the hardest thing I've ever done. I can't believe how much I love her already. She is the most gorgeous little thing and she just seems to get cuter every time we see her. She makes these little purring noises when she sleeps and she sometimes does this adorable little shudder. We laugh every time. The way she smiles, how she scrunches up her eyebrows... I've got it bad for this little darling!

We talked to another nurse practitioner today and she said that Avi is just doing fantastic. They lowered her oxygen levels today and she's done great with that. They are trying really hard to have her off oxygen by the time we need to head home. She was born with a partial missing membrane in her brain. At first they thought it was the full membrane missing, which would've meant severe special needs but after they did a brain scan they learned only a part of the membrane is missing. This means Avi will likely deal with developmental delays and we will need to get a neurologist for her once we get back home, but we are very thankful it's nothing worse. 

It's funny...this morning we went and did some touristy stuff and I couldn't help feel a bit guilty that we weren't at the hospital spending time with Avi. Then we left to go see Avi and I felt bad that we were leaving Cassidy behind. All of a sudden my heart belongs to two little people and right now I can't have them both together. I can't wait until I can. I just love my girls! 

Meeting Aviannah

I am so exhausted and ready for a nap, but I know you all are dying for an update, so I'll try to make this quick!

I was so nervous as we pulled up to the hospital. We found our social worker in the entrance and she took us back to the nursery. Aviannah has moved out of the Level 3 NICU and is now in Level 2. John and I scrubbed up and went in to go see her! At first they said Cassidy couldn't see her today, because siblings could only come during a specific time, but they made an exception, which I'm glad for, because she burst into tears when she first heard that she couldn't come in. She's been waiting for this for a long time!

Right away when we walked into the nursery the nurse scooped her up and put her in my arms. She was wrapped up nice but I could still tell how tiny she is! John and I took turns saying hello, then Cassidy came in to say hello. They normally only allow 2 people per family at a time, but no other parents were there so they let my parents come in while we were still in there. It was so special! I posted the pictures on Facebook.

Mom and Dad left with Cassidy around 9:30. The nurse said Aviannah's next feeding was at 11:00, so John and I took turns snuggling her until then. It was wonderful. She slept the whole time and we giggled over the cute sounds she made, talked to her, and just stared at her. The nurse practitioner came and updated us on her condition. Aviannah is still on oxygen, but other then that everything looks really good. Her eyes are getting tested tomorrow and she might need another cardiac test but if those go well, she will be ready to be discharged. She also needs to pass a carseat test. She can be discharged and still be on oxygen, it'd just be something we'd have to deal with out of the hospital. Since we have to stay 6 weeks, the nurse will set us up with a pediatrician here. She is hoping that Aviannah can be off the oxygen by the time we are ready to go home. PLEASE pray that she will! The nurse said she will likely have chronic lung disease as a result of being on oxygen for so long, but it doesn't sound too serious. 

At 11:00 we got to open up her blanket and get a good look at her. The nurse wanted her to stay wrapped up until feeding time because the more awake time they have, the more calories they burn, so they try to get them to sleep as much as possible. It was so fun to see her tiny fingers and toes, and her skinny little legs! I changed her bum and then the nurse showed me how to feed her. Preemies need to be fed a little differently then full-term babies. She ate so well! She chugged back the first half of her bottle, gave me a really good burp, then finished the second half all within half an hour! I put her up on my chest and she fell asleep there again :)

Around 11:45 she was given a hearing test. The doctor stuck all these things to her ears and head and we got to watch on the monitor as she responded to the different tests. She passed with flying colors! After her test was done, we said goodbye and headed back to our place. It was soooo hard to leave her in that tiny bed, but we're heading back tonight after we get a good nap in. The nurse is also going to plan for us to stay one night while my parents are here with Cassidy, so that will be good.

All in all, I'm a little overwhelmed. We had so many people giving us so much information, but I know we'll figure it out. All the nurses were so excited that we were here. Tomorrow from 3-5 is when siblings can visit, so Cassidy will get a chance to hold her. 

I gotta say though, my favorite part of the morning was when I whispered "I love you," to Aviannah and she smiled :) 

On the Road Again

I am typing this from Las Vegas! We made it!

We left my parent's house in Saskatoon at 7:00am on Saturday morning. The first part of the drive down to the border was uneventful and boring. Nothing but flat prairies, nothing new there. We made it through the border without any problems! The crossing guard hardly asked any questions. I was driving when we crossed and I was so nervous, but it was all good! We crossed from Alberta into Montana and for a while it was the same old flat lands as the prairies we were leaving behind. THEN we hit the mountains. I can't even describe how incredible they were. I've been to BC plenty of times and I've always thought the mountains there are gorgeous, but even they don't hold a candle to the beauty of those Montana mountains. It was breathtaking. Just when I thought they couldn't get any better, we turned another corner and were hit with a sight more beautiful then the last. I already cannot wait to go home just so I can see those mountains again. If you ever have the opportunity to drive through Montana, DO IT. 

We drove as far as Idaho Falls and stopped for the night. Cassidy had only slept for 20 minutes in the afternoon and by 9:30 was having a full out meltdown in her carseat. I felt so bad for her. She was very overtired but could not get comfortable. She calmed down soon, but stayed awake until we came to a stop at 11:00. Suddenly, as soon as we got in our room she got a second wind and was jumping on the beds and shrieking like a crazy person. It was close to midnight before we all went to sleep, and we had to leave by 6 the next morning to make it to Las Vegas by 4:00pm (that's when we had to check in at our place). This meant 5 hours of sleep for all of us. Cassidy usually needs at least double that. In the morning we were all getting ready quietly while she slept. We were hoping we could move her to her carseat without waking her too much. All of a sudden she sits upright in bed and yells "Hi Dad!" So much for that :)

Day 2 was a shorter driving day but it seemed so much longer. The landscape was more interesting. There were mountains in the distance and lots of hills and curves. We went through a small piece of Arizona, and when I was driving we found ourselves in the most gorgeous canyon. It didn't quite compare to the Montana mountains, but it was a different kind of breathtaking. I really wished I wasn't driving during that part. I don't do well with heights, and I'm used to driving the long, flat, prairies. This was anything but! We were going up and down steep hills, around sharp curves and at a very high elevation. I had a white knuckled grip on the steering wheel the whole time, but I did still manage to catch glimpses of the beauty around me. On the way home though, John is driving through that! We are planning to stop at the Grand Canyon on the way home, since we're quite close to it. I am very excited about that!

We made it to Vegas around 3:30. We had fun driving down the strip and seeing things I've only ever seen in movies. Our place where we are staying is great! It's small but cozy. It has a pool and a huge fitness center, and is very close to the hospital and other stores. Plus we can see the strip from our room, which is pretty cool! We got unpacked, then drove over to the hospital, just to make sure we knew how to find it. It was so hard knowing that Aviannah was in there, that we were so close to her and yet weren't able to see her quite yet. We got a  bunch of groceries and now Cassidy is in bed, my parents left to explore the strip and John and I are relaxing. It feels so nice. I think I'm going to like it here.

We've Already Won Big in Vegas

This week has been the most stressful week of my whole entire life. I feel like I've finally put on my big girl panties and became a grown-up this week (yes, even married and having a kid did not do that for me!) I think I've spent more time on the phone this week then in my whole life combined up till now. Here's a glimpse of who I've been talking to: the adoption agency, the hospital, my parents, John's parents, grandparents, piano parents, hotels/apartment bookings, the dentist and most of these more then once. More like once a day. Plus, I've been running around trying to get everything organized. I've been to the bank twice to send down our final payments, picked up some last minute items at the store, went to get travel insurance. I haven't stopped since we heard the news last week. Plus on top of that I got struck with a wicked head cold so most of this week I've felt like death warmed over. Thankfully today I feel almost back to normal. Last night I made myself a nice hot bath and read for an hour and it was glorious! I won't be able to do that again anytime soon!

This adoption feels 1000 times harder then Cassidy's, which is funny because this adoption has gone so smooth right from the start (and hopefully to finish) whereas with Cassidy's there was all sorts of scares. I know it's because we have to travel for this one, and because it costs so much moreand there's just so much more to get organized! I was really stressing about the money, especially when I could not find a place for us to stay that wouldn't cause us to have to sell our house. Thankfully I've found a great place, close to the hospital, with all the things we need for a very reasonable price. 

So...I think we're going to be ok. Last night John and I collapsed on the bed, looked at each other and said "I never want to do this again!" I don't know if we'll always feel this way, but for now, this is it. I think 2 girls is pretty perfect, but of course, I always want to be open to what plans God has for us. I've learned that the things He calls us too are often not easy, but they are always good! We are both really hoping we can come home sooner then 6 weeks, but who knows? Maybe we'll love it down there! I saw a picture of our apartment complex and there are palm trees in front! I am a sucker for palm trees! 

What's really been neat is how excited everyone is for us, and I'm not just talking about our friends and family. The agency and the hospital have both said numerous times how thrilled they are for us to get down there, and even this morning I was booking our place and the lady was asking about our visit so I told her we were coming to adopt a baby. Well, she was just so excited and kept congratulating me and wishing us well. Then, when I gave her my name she burst into the Barry Manilow song "Mandy." She asked if I'd heard that one before and I said "Oh yes, my dad used to sing that to me all the time!" It made me smile. 

We're leaving bright and early tomorrow morning and I just can't wait to get there! Like John said "Once we get there, they will tell us what to do and we won't have to figure it out for ourselves anymore!" Ha, sounds real grown-up doesn't it? AND once we get there we finally get to hold our beautiful Aviannah! I cannot wait!! Monday can't come soon enough! And I promise, I will post more pictures as soon as I can!

P.S. My parents are coming for the first week and last night my brother was coaching my dad on blackjack and poker. Considering my dad is a pastor and a Mennonite (aka cheapskate) this could be interesting!

She's So Cute!

If you're not my friend on Facebook, you missed the BABY PICTURES that I posted earlier. So in the off chance that you did, check this out!

Isn't she darling? I showed Cassidy and she said "Oh no, she's sick." She's already so concerned so I said that's why we're going to get her soon, to help her get all better.

So, to backtrack, I talked with our agency again today. They gave me the number of the hospital and said I could call and talk to the nurses. They also went over the fees and other info and said we can come anytime! What I wasn't expecting was the length of stay. I was originally told 2 weeks but because she'll still be in the hospital for some time yet, we need to stay 6 weeks. I'm not sure how I feel about that. On the one hand- six weeks in Vegas? Where it's hot? Yes please! On the other- that's more money for food, accommodations, all the stuff we need to live. But we are able to afford the agency fees (barely) and we'll make do with the rest. God has brought this baby into our lives and by His grace we'll figure it out. Because LOOK AT HER! Seriously. That chin!

I was able to talk to her nurse for quite a while and she filled me in on everything. Bottom line, she is doing very very well and everyone has fallen in love with her. It sounds like she's getting fantastic care and I am so thankful for that. I can't wait to start bonding with her!

So please pray for us as we make plans. My parents will be driving down with us for the first week and they are letting us keep their SUV, which will be so nice. I am so thankful for their help. Our house and dog are going to be well looked after, and John's dad is going to fill in for him at work. Everything else, well, it'll have to go on without us, which I'm sure it will just fine. I wonder if I'll get homesick, or maybe I'll like Vegas so much I'll never want to leave! I will post lots of pictures (mostly for the sake of the grandparents, who I know are going to go through Cassidy withdrawl) and keep everyone updated regularly. We plan to leave this weekend sometime.

I can't believe this is actually happening!

Is It Monday Yet?

This weekend has been such a whirlwind of emotions. I feel so discombobulated right now (discombobulated is a fun word!) I wasn't able to get a hold of our agency on Friday which was super disappointing because it meant we've have to wait till Monday to know what's going on. We still have no idea about any details. I just want to go get her! Is it Monday yet?

At first I was just plain bummed and just wanted the weekend to be over with, but then I thought that this will probably be our last weekend as a family of 3, our last weekend at home before we leave for Las Vegas, and I wanted to soak it all in. So I did! Saturday was spent at home, mostly getting things organized for baby girl's arrival. We currently had the spare room upstairs which was the future nursery and the office in our downstairs room. Leesa (my sister) is moving into the downstairs room in the fall, so we moved the upstairs stuff downstairs and moved our office space into the family room downstairs. Then I started setting up the nursery. I have the glider, dresser with the change bad and an end table set up. I'm borrowing a crib from my sister-in-law, but we won't need that right away anyway. It was SO exciting to actually start setting it up, knowing that there was a real live baby that would soon be occupying the room! John and I also spent the weekend tossing baby names back and forth. We have agreed on a name and I love it! We even signed cards for our mothers with her name in it and it looks so good with John, Mandi and Cassidy :) Sorry, though! We're not telling until we see her, in the off chance that we decide to change it. Hopefully we can share soon!

Today was Mother's Day (duh) and we had such a great day with family. We spent the morning at church, spent the afternoon with my family and the evening with John's. I am so blessed to have two great families! It was wonderful to not think about the upcoming craziness and just focus on being with family and having fun together. Cassidy made me a sweet drawing and I got a flower and some chocolate as well :) Plus she sang me a happy mother's day song to the tune of Happy Birthday. It doesn't get any better then that! Today felt bittersweet. I loved celebrating with my precious Cassidy but it was hard knowing that my other babe was so far away. Even though we haven't met yet, I feel such a connection to her. 

One of my biggest prayers throughout this process was that when we got a referral, that if it was the child for us that we would feel the same peace we felt when we got the call about Cassidy. I had never been more certain of anything in my life during that time. As soon as we heard about Cassidy, I knew God had meant her for us and it was incredible to see how He had His hand in the whole process. I knew that I was going to need the same confirmation with this one. And, once again, He has given it to me. Both John and I feel with absolute certainty that this baby was meant for us and I have already seen God been working in mighty ways since we found out on Thursday. I did the math and figured out that the birth mother would've gotten pregnant with baby girl in July sometime, which was around the same time we started to begin the adoption process again. This just blows my mind! The whole time we were filling out paperwork, waiting, doing more paperwork, waiting, raising money, waiting, she was already forming and growing and alive! All of my desperate prayers to God were already being answered as she grew in her mother's womb. Amazing. 

All the love, support, prayers and well wishes we've recieved has been overwhelming and wonderful. I couldn't believe how many people took to Facebook to express their joy for us and this morning in church we were bombarded with hugs and promised prayers. I know for certain that your prayers are being heard and we are every so thankful for them. We do have one big prayer request right now. We need her citizenship papers to come before we can bring her back into Canada. Ideally it would great to have them before we head down, but we could also get someone to send them to us if they arrive while we are down there, but if you could pray that the gov't would work fast to get our papers to us. From what they originally told us, they should be here any day.

I'll probably be blogging more now, as we continue to find out more details. We're taking a laptop with us so I'll keep you all updated when we're in the States (and post a picture as soon as I can!) My parents are actually planning on coming down as well, which will be a HUGE help as we are taking Cassidy as well. John's boss is the best boss in the whole wide world and has no problem with John up and taking off with very little notice. My piano families have also been super understanding and have no problem with me having to cancel lessons for the next couple of weeks. 

And yes, Cassidy is very excited! Last night John took her to the park and she walked up to a complete stranger and proudly announced "I'm a big sister!" :) Today she insisted that I change her monkey's poopy bum on the baby's changing table. She's going to be an awesome little helper!

I should attempt to get some sleep (that's been not happening as much either). These darn butterflies in my stomach won't go away :) I don't mind one bit though!

BABY, BABY, BABY OH!

It always amazes me how in seconds your life can be completely changed, either for the better or for the worse...

Thursday afternoon at 3:15 I was doing some last minute tidying, getting ready for my piano student who comes at 3:30. The phone rang. It was John. He had forgotten his phone at home so he was calling me from his bosses number. He usually calls to check in when he forgets his phone. I was happy to hear from him as we hadn't talked all day. After we exchanged hello's he says "So Social Services in Regina called. Somebody picked us. You need to call them right now."
I just about dropped the phone. I think I stumbled through a few "Are you serious?" and one very emphatic "You'd better not be joking!" (I knew, of course, that he wasn't, but I was in a bit of shock.) I looked at the clock. 3:20. I had 10 minutes before my student was coming. We hung up and I dialed the man in Regina, hands shaking. He informed me that a baby had been born mid-March very premature, and had been in the NICU since. The baby was doing really great and was almost ready to be released. The parents had chosen us to adopt the baby. He said all the information about the family and the whole situation were in an email, and we were to read over it and get back to him on Friday. He also said that because this was such a time sensitive situation, the costs were being lowered. In normal circumstances, we would get the referral while the mother is still pregnant and we'd have some time before the baby was born, but in this situation this was obviously not the case.
Tears started streaming down my face as I tried to take in what he was saying. All I kept thinking was "The baby is already born! It's already here!" This was completely not what we were expecting at all. We were warned that we might have very little time between the referral and the birth, but we thought we'd have at least a couple weeks. I hung up with the man in Regina, quickly shot off a few texts to family members to pray, and then my student showed up.
The next half hour was the longest of my life! I'm pretty sure I should reimburse her for the lesson because I don't think much teaching was happening. I couldn't stop shaking and I fumbled over my words. My student must've thought I was going crazy! All I could think about was that email. I needed to see that email.
As soon as she was out the door, I grabbed the computer and opened my email. Attached were several documents about the baby's condition, the parent's medical history and other important details. I opened the first attachment and the first thing I saw were the words baby GIRL! GIRL!!!
I read all the other attachments. It is an extremely sad situation. Both birth parents are homeless and jobless. The mother is 30 and this is her 11th pregnancy. 6 babies were aborted and this makes 5 that she's given up for adoption. The mother is in a wheelchair with nerve damage due to a car accident when she was a teen. Her labor came on so quickly that she ended up giving birth to the baby in an abandoned warehouse, assisted by the father. An ambulance came soon after and rushed them to the hospital. Baby girl weighed 2lbs at birth but has been thriving in the NICU and now weighs 5lbs. Both parents said they wanted their baby so much but they knew they could not give her the life that she deserved. I cried reading all of this. My heart is broken for them. John came home and we went through it all again together, although for both of us, we knew we were going to say yes before we knew details. I want us to be her family. This morning I called Social Services back and said YES!
On the one hand my heart is brimming with happiness but my heart is also broken knowing that my baby is here, alive, but so far away from me. The one thing I was looking forward to with this adoption was being there from Day 1. We missed out on so much of Cassidy's first year, and I was excited to get to do it all right from the beginning. So it was hard for me to learn that Baby Girl has already been alive for 2 months, although at 5lbs she's smaller then most babies at birth. I just want to get to her as quickly as I can.

So...that's where we are now. Our life changed, just like that. I am waiting to hear from our agency with all the details, such as when do we leave, costs, etc. I don't know for sure, but it sounds like we'll be taking off sometime this next week! This is insane!!
I am overwhelmed with God's goodness to us. Cassidy was our perfect Christmas gift and this one is my perfect Mother's day gift. Such gifts.
I promise to keep you updated once I know more about the situation. Please pray for us. Pray for Baby Girl. She is already doing well, so continue to pray that she gains weight and keeps progressing. Pray for her parents. They need it. Pray for us as we have alot to figure out in a short amount of time! Our immigration papers haven't come yet and we need those to bring her home, so pray that the gov't will be speedy in getting those here to us. We are so thankful for all your support. Look what your prayers have already done!

VEGAS BABY!!!

2nd Place or the First Loser

If you read my last blog post, you'll know that we hadn't recieved our monthly Baby Update. This is the first time our agency hasn't been prompt in communicating with us and I couldn't figure out why. I immediately got to thinking that maybe someone was in the process of choosing us, because when we get picked, they inform the "middle man" in Regina who handles all international adoptions in SK and he informs us. I figured perhaps they were the process of communicating with each other and we were just waiting for a phone call! 

John figured that they were just busy.

He was right.

Sometimes I really hate it when he's right.

I got an email today from our agency apologizing for not getting the update sent on time because they've been having a busy month. Darn. BUT she informed me that our profile was shown twice this past month AND that we were the second choice for one of the birth mothers. 

So we were ALMOST picked! I actually wasn't disappointed by this, but I still have butterflies when I think about it (I just read the email like 5 minutes ago and then I came right over here to tell you guys about it. I'm very dedicated to this blogging thing.) I'm not upset that she didn't pick us because I believe that God has the right baby in mind for us, and obviously her baby was not meant to be our baby. But I'm thrilled because it means that someone actually liked our profile enough to consider us to be her baby's parents. That means that (hopefully) someone else will like our profile enough to choose us to be her baby's parents!! 

Every day that goes by is one day closer to our baby being here, and now it feels closer then ever! 

4 Months and No Update?

The end of April officially marks the end of winter in my books and I can't help but breathe a huge sigh of relief. And try not to think about Christmas. Which is harder to do when Cassidy always brings me her Christmas books to read. I think I need to hide those.
The end of April also marked 4 months that we have now been on the waiting list. I have to admit, I was doing pretty good for the first 3. I was anxious, sure, but nothing like how I've been this last month. If I would've written this post a week ago, I'm not sure I would've liked what came off my fingers (and I definitely wouldn't have wanted to subject you, my poor readers, to it.) I was miserable, discouraged and just all around grumpy. I felt like this waiting has been going on and on and I was actually starting to convince myself that this adoption is not going to happen.
A couple evenings ago I poured out all my miserable thoughts on my poor hubby, looking for sympathy. Instead, I got a reality check, which I now see I needed much more. He reminded me that it's only been 4 months. We haven't even been waiting past the projected time they gave us (6-9 months). He reminded me that the longest anyone waited with our agency was 18 months and he said if we were still waiting then, only then would he start to be concerned. 18 months?? It better not take that long!
But his (blunt) replies to my whining were exactly what I needed to hear to help me put things back into perspective. He's so good for me in that way. I get so excited and so emotionally involved right from the get go, with anything in life, and he is so laid back and relaxed about everything. It usually drives me insane, but I need his level-headedness to balance out my impulsiveness. If I had married someone like me, we'd both be a wreck and probably be feeding off of each others anxieties. Sounds like a disaster to me! 
So I feel better then I did a week ago. Still anxious (every time the phone rings I just about have a heart attack) but praying that God helps me take it one day at a time and that I don't miss the beautiful life I have right now.

At the end of every month we've received updates about how many people have viewed our profile. They always have come between the 26th and the 30th. It's May 2 and we still haven't gotten our April update. I emailed them yesterday asking if they had any news for us and have yet to get a response. This is unusual and it has my head spinning. I keep thinking "Well, maybe someone is in the process of picking us right now and they are waiting until they know for sure before they say anything!" I'm hoping I hear from them soon, but until then, we still know nothing. Sigh. At least the grass is turning green!