It's true! We are in the beginning stages of adding kid #3 (and maybe kid #4!!!) to our family! And yes, we thought we were done...
To tell this story properly, I need to take you back in time. In January 2011, a month and a half after we got married, we decided we'd better get a jump start on the adoption process. Our first step was to make an appointment with the Adoption Support Centre in Saskatoon because we didn't have a hot clue about where to start. She explained the 3 main types of adoption: private/independent, domestic and international. I wrote a blog post explaining the difference between these a while back if you are interested in going back and reading it, so I won't explain that here. For your information though, Cassidy's was a private adoption and Aviannah's was an international adoption.
The woman we met with recommended applying to adopt through the Ministry of Social Services in Saskatoon, aka domestic adoption. This means if we were to adopt this way we would be adopting a child from the foster care system. This whole process is free, all costs are covered by the Ministry. This seemed like a good place to start so a week or so later we sent in an application. Shortly thereafter we received a letter stating that we were on the list to be released for a home study, which is the first step in the process. However, we were not willing to say yes to a lot of things on the application in regards to disabilities and what not, and the age we wanted was under a year. Because of these things we were told the chances of us adopting through this avenue were slim. We figured it was better then nothing.
Fast forward less then a year later, along came Cassidy. Then 2 and a half years later, along came Aviannah. Every once and a while I would think "Are we even still on that list from 2011?" We had gotten a letter asking if we wanted to stay on the list 2 years after we applied and we said yes, but since then we had heard nothing from them. We both figured because we'd adopted twice that we were off the list. And we were totally fine with that.
I am absolutely in love with our family. When I picture our family 10, 20 years down the line, I can see the four of us so clearly, just the four of us. I love that we have two girls and I love watching the bond between them grow. I am so overwhelmed with how God chose them for us and I couldn't ask for more. Yet there was this small part of my heart that ached for more and I feel so guilty even saying that out loud because it makes it sound like I am not grateful for what we already have and am being selfish. Nobody can tell me I'm not grateful. Maybe I am selfish. Before I found out I couldn't have kids I always envisioned 4 kids. 4 was my number. And as easily as I could see us with our two girls and only them, I wanted more. This is me being totally honest and transparent here, so please be gracious. I struggled with this for a long time, feeling this way. I thought it was wrong of me to want more because I've already been given more then I could have ever dreamed. Honestly 90% of the time I was so content and thrilled with our family, but sometimes those thoughts of more would come creeping in.
John and I have never, since Avi's adoption, felt ready or led to pursue another adoption. Even though her process went so smoothly, it was really draining. Still, if I think of going that route again, I shut it down real fast. So I didn't know what to do with these thoughts of wanting more. Last October I finally prayed to God one day "God, unless you make it very, very clear to us, we aren't pursuing another adoption. We are done. So if you want us to adopt again, if there's another child out there for us, you have to show us because we aren't going looking for them." Saying those words out loud brought such peace to my soul.
At the beginning of November 2017, I got a phone call from the Ministry of Social Services. My first thought was that they were trying to take my kids away, although I couldn't figure out why. My hands were shaking so bad when I saw who was calling on the screen. I had no idea why else they would be contacting us. The lady on the other end asked if we would like to come in and update our adoption application since it was very outdated. I was confused and then I remembered that dusty old application. I said something like "What? We're still on the list?" She informed me that, yes, we were very much still on the list. So John and I went in the following Friday and met with her. This time around, we were open to much more then last time. We also changed our age range to 3 and under. Keeping the birth order the same was very important to us but we figured since Avi is almost 4 we could expand the age range we were willing to accept. The worker also implored us to strongly consider becoming foster parents. There is a desperate need right now for foster parents, especially for babies and toddlers. This is something we had talked about in the past and after hashing it out over the weekend and praying lots about it, we felt like this was something we should do.
I called the number to apply to become foster parents and we set up a date for the first meeting with the worker (a different one). 4 days before that meeting was to take place, we got a phone call AGAIN from ANOTHER worker from the adoption unit saying that we were being released to do a home study if we were interested (this is what we have been on the wait list for since 2011). The only catch was that we could not do a home study for adoption and a home assessment for fostering at the same time. We were stunned to say the least. We figured fostering was the right choice for us, and now, right when we were starting to get that going, the option to start the adoption process becomes available. She said that if our long term goal was adoption, we should choose to do a home study. This was a no-brainer for us. Both John and I didn't even need to talk about it. We were definitely interested in adoption!
So that pretty much brings us to here. We had our first meeting with the adoption worker today and she gave us an overview of the whole process. We will spend a couple months completing our home study, then that gets sent to the adoption registry in Regina where they have all the profiles of the children from the foster system that are up for adoption. Then we wait until we get matched with a child, work on transitioning them into our home, have more visits once they are living with us and then that's it! The best part is there is no cost to us. I can't even tell you how relieved this makes us!
We are completely overjoyed and overwhelmed. We have told our girls what is happening and Cassidy is thrilled and can't stop talking about it and Avi just keeps going back and forth between wanting a brother and a sister. We did say we were open to a sibling group so that's a possibility too! I think back to that prayer I prayed last October and my mind is absolutely blown on how clearly God answered! This is straight from Him! I know that doesn't mean that it will be easy or that there won't be some bumps along the way, but for now we firmly believe that this is what He is leading us towards. Cassidy is our dream come true baby, Aviannah is our miracle baby and this is definitely our bonus baby (or toddler!) What a blessing!!
Of course, there are no guarantees. I feel nervous announcing this because there is always the possibility that this adoption won't happen at all. We would appreciate your prayers as we go through this process.
And fun fact: if/when this adoption gets completed, we will have done all three: private, international and domestic. Boo ya.
