The end of April officially marks the end of winter in my books and I can't help but breathe a huge sigh of relief. And try not to think about Christmas. Which is harder to do when Cassidy always brings me her Christmas books to read. I think I need to hide those.
The end of April also marked 4 months that we have now been on the waiting list. I have to admit, I was doing pretty good for the first 3. I was anxious, sure, but nothing like how I've been this last month. If I would've written this post a week ago, I'm not sure I would've liked what came off my fingers (and I definitely wouldn't have wanted to subject you, my poor readers, to it.) I was miserable, discouraged and just all around grumpy. I felt like this waiting has been going on and on and I was actually starting to convince myself that this adoption is not going to happen.
A couple evenings ago I poured out all my miserable thoughts on my poor hubby, looking for sympathy. Instead, I got a reality check, which I now see I needed much more. He reminded me that it's only been 4 months. We haven't even been waiting past the projected time they gave us (6-9 months). He reminded me that the longest anyone waited with our agency was 18 months and he said if we were still waiting then, only then would he start to be concerned. 18 months?? It better not take that long!
But his (blunt) replies to my whining were exactly what I needed to hear to help me put things back into perspective. He's so good for me in that way. I get so excited and so emotionally involved right from the get go, with anything in life, and he is so laid back and relaxed about everything. It usually drives me insane, but I need his level-headedness to balance out my impulsiveness. If I had married someone like me, we'd both be a wreck and probably be feeding off of each others anxieties. Sounds like a disaster to me!
So I feel better then I did a week ago. Still anxious (every time the phone rings I just about have a heart attack) but praying that God helps me take it one day at a time and that I don't miss the beautiful life I have right now.
At the end of every month we've received updates about how many people have viewed our profile. They always have come between the 26th and the 30th. It's May 2 and we still haven't gotten our April update. I emailed them yesterday asking if they had any news for us and have yet to get a response. This is unusual and it has my head spinning. I keep thinking "Well, maybe someone is in the process of picking us right now and they are waiting until they know for sure before they say anything!" I'm hoping I hear from them soon, but until then, we still know nothing. Sigh. At least the grass is turning green!
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