Cassidy is 5!

Aviannah just turned 2 a couple of weeks ago and while I found that hard to believe, even harder is the reality that I have a 5 year old now! Cassidy has been wanting to be 5 for a few years now, and it's finally here! So in honor of her birthday, here is a birthday post all about Cassidy!

-Cassidy is approximately 44 inches tall and somewhere between 45-50 pounds. She's a super healthy girl and  rarely gets sick and when she does it never lasts long. Even with preschool this past year, she's managed to escape all the sicknesses going around school. 

- Speaking of school, she absolutely L.O.V.E.S. preschool. She asks every single day if today is her preschool day. She goes for 2 hours 2 days a week but I know she could handle more. I told her the other day that when she goes to kindergarten she will be there for a whole day and asked if that was ok. Her response was a very enthusiastic yes! I get to be parent helper once a month so I've been able to watch how she does in a school setting and I am just SO proud of her! She is such a good student! She sits quietly and listens well at circle time, she follows commands without complaining and is kind to her friends. Makes me feel like I'm doing something right!

- Her attitude has really improved over this past year. She never really throws huge tantrums anymore and has just generally matured so much. She is very kind (for the most part!) to Avi and Levi, although of course she has her moments! She's still a kid, after all. 

- Her love language is definitely quality time. She is always asking me to play with her, and even if I played with her lots during the day, she will still often tell Daddy "Mommy didn't play with me at ALL today!" in a very exasperated tone. She has a great imagination and loves making up games to play.

- She is getting more into drawing and writing. She has almost mastered writing her name (those darn S's are tricky!) and is actually starting to draw real things instead of scribbles. I love the way she draws people, the arms come out of the head, yet there is still a body and legs. She also loves crafts and is always asking me for craft ideas (I am horrible at crafts, so I'm thankful she gets this outlet at school!)

- She is such a perfect mix of girly girl and tomboy. She asks to wear "spinny" dresses every single day and loves to play princesses and tea party, but also loves exploring outside, climbing trees and searching for bugs. At school she'll play dolls with the girls one day and pirates with the boys the next. I love it!

- She has a knack for memorizing things. She gets a new verse to memorize in Sunday School every week and it never takes her long to learn it.

- She also seems to be musically inclined. She likes to play a game with me where I'll sing a note and she'll try to match the pitch. We will go through a whole bunch of different pitches and she usually gets it bang on. She also loves making up songs and surprises me with the things she comes up with. I'm going to start teaching her piano in the fall, I'm hoping she does well with that too!

- She is playing soccer for the first time this spring and is beyond excited! She practices every day and received soccer cleats for her birthday. I can't wait to watch her!

Cassidy's Favorite Things:

Food: same as Avi, candy. But other then that, Kraft Dinner

Toy: her Barbies

Game: Hide and seek (she likes to count and for me to hide. I am all over that! I hide somewhere really hard and get at least a few minutes of peace!)

TV Show: Paw Patrol (I can never get the theme song out of my head)

Color: Pink

Friend: Iyla

Song: Jesus Loves Me

Book: Elephant and Piggie books (they are my favorite too!)

Animal: Giraffe

Movie: Veggie Tales

Things Cassidy Doesn't Like:

-eating foods she doesn't like

-getting her hair washed/brushed/done up (basically anyone touching her hair in any way)

-quiet time (Mommy demands it)

-"the little kids bugging me" (I hear this multiple times a day)

-cleaning up

-time outs

Cassidy's Nicknames:

-Cass 

-Cass-a-frass

-Caster

-Cassilee
-Diddy (what Avi calls her, we've gotten into the habit of calling her it too)
-Diddy Kong (what "Diddy" naturally turns into!)

-Freak (we call Avi this too. It's said with love)

-we never call her Cassy, which I think is interesting. I often wondered when she was a baby if we would naturally shorten her name. I figured if we did, it would be Cassy. We did naturally segue way into a shortened name, but it's Cass. We call her that 85% of the time. 

- there's more, but these are the most common

I keep saying it, but every age just gets better and better! I'm so looking forward to the new adventures a 5 year old will bring! Cassidy is just the best little person ever and I love seeing the person she has become and am looking forward to watching her continue to change and grow. She made us parents and we couldn't have asked for a more perfect little girl to give us that life-changing title. We fall more in love with her every day!

Happy Birthday Cassidy!

Aviannah is 2!

Miss Aviannah is 2 today! In celebration, here's a post all about Avi!

-She weighs approximately 21 and a half pounds and is 33 inches long. She weighs the same as Cassidy did at 1 year. Her height is actually right around the average for a 2 year old girl. I'm thinking she'll be tall!

-Her vocabulary has been slow in coming but has really taken off these past few weeks. She isn't really stringing words together yet but she has quite a list of words she can say. Her pronunciation is excellent and its very easy to understand everything she says (when she's actually speaking English!) Here's some of her words: "Mommy," "Daddy," "Diddy"- means Cassidy, "Avi," "Le,"- which is Levi, "Nana"- which is both my mom and banana, "Papa," "Grandma", "Auntie," "Honey,"- anyone she doesn't know she calls Honey. Freaking adorable! "Maya," "Hi," "Ba-bye", "Uh-oh", "No," "Yeah," "Me," "Up," "Down," "Go," "Book," "Ball," "Baby," "Kitty," "Night night", "Ba ba," -bottle, and more that I can't think of right now. She also knows quite a few animal sounds and has a special sound for when she's "driving" her cars around. She babbles constantly and I don't think it'll be too long before those babbles become real sentences.

-Even though she doesn't speak much, she is very smart. She is really good at following commands like "Go put this in the garbage," or "Go put this toy away"- and she puts it away in the right spot too! I can tell she's always paying close attention to what her sister is doing and tries to follow along with her.

-She loves to give hugs, kisses, high fives and fist bumps. She generally only hugs and kisses people she knows well, but if you're a complete stranger and ask for a high five, you'll get one! She also has the cutest little wave and waves at every single person she sees. Whenever we go somewhere, as soon as I lift her out of the car she starts waving, regardless if anyone is around or not. We have two very social girls!

-She has a fascination with lights. She will always point out lights right away when we walk into a room. Not sure what that's about!

-She is super sensitive. All it takes is a raised, stern voice and she usually bursts into tears. So far we haven't had to do much else for discipline which is nice, but I don't think it'll last. She's also extremely stubborn and determined, and usually doesn't take no for an answer very easily.

-She loves books. She just got her very own bookshelf a couple weeks ago and is obsessed with it! All day she's bringing books out for me to read to her.

-She also loves singing and dancing. She's going through a phase where she sings into anything that remotely resembles a microphone, like her fork at lunch, or the strings on my sweater, or a water bottle. She'll dance around the room singing "La la la la" and have this goofy grin on her face. Both our girls love music, but we always have music going in the house, either from the piano or the iPod so that's not surprising!

-We've been able to spend a lot of time outside this winter (thanks El Nino) and Aviannah LOVES snow. Actually, she loves eating snow. Seriously, as soon as she finds an appropriate spot she throws herself down on her belly and shoves her mouth into the snowbank and eats snow like a dog. It's hilarious. She has acclimated to the Canadian life exceptionally well!

-She is learning very quickly how to stand her ground! If either Cassidy or Levi is doing something to her, or taking something away from her, or just being annoying to her, she will scream at the top of her lungs right in their face. That usually does the trick. I laugh every time at the shocked look on their faces when she does that! She definitely has a little temper on her, and I've witnessed a few tantrums already. Like I said, she doesn't like the word no!

- She is obsessed with stickers. Obsessed. When I teach piano, at the beginning of each lesson I check my student's practice charts and if they have enough checkmarks they get a sticker on their chart. Avi tries her hardest to sneak away from Daddy and into the living room for this part, and then stands there and shrieks until I give in and put a sticker on her face. That's where she likes stickers, on her face. She will literally keep them there all day long.

Avi's Favorite Things!
Food: well, obviously candy. But other then that, mushroom soup.
Toy: she has a stuffed elephant that plays lullabies, she can't sleep without it and often drags it around all day. We change the batteries like every other day. (Ok, not that often but it feels like it sometimes!)
TV Show: Peppa Pig. She snorts along with the theme song. It is as cute as it sounds!
Friend: (other then Cassidy) Levi! Those two are like peas in a pod.
Song: the Charlie Brown theme song that Mommy plays on the piano.

Things Avi Doesn't Like
- the word "no"
-not playing in the cupboards
-not having her bottle
-getting her hair washed
-if Cassidy gets something and she doesn't
-when Cassidy doesn't share
-sharing with Cassidy

Avi's Nicknames: (we I go a little crazy with weird nicknames. Here's just a few of them!)
-Avi (most used)
-Avi Dawn
-Avi Dawner
-Avi Baby
-Avis
-Avis Davis (one time, I shortened Davis to Dave and was calling her that, but John made me stop. Too far I guess!)
-and there is many more, but these are the most common ones. I make sure to actually call her by her full name every now and then so she knows what it is!
**you should hear Cassidy's list of nicknames. I'll do a birthday post for her too, and share them on there.

We are so thankful for another year with our little Aviannah Dawn! She fits in our family just perfectly and we love her so much! Happy Birthday!!

2015 in Review

Here we are again, coming to the end of another year. We are excitedly counting down to Christmas and looking forward to everything the holidays bring. Here's a quick overview of 2015 in the Letkeman household!

John: This handsome guy rang in the New Year by turning a couple years older then 30...He is one of those weird people that gets excited about getting older and is thrilled to have gained a few grey hairs over the past year (those may or may not be my fault). He is still working at Woodstyles (he makes railings) he's been there for over 10 years and he loves it. He has the best boss EVER and John gets to work all by himself in the shop which couldn't be more perfect for him. Every now and then he gets to go help install on the job site, which he doesn't mind either. He plays bass guitar on both the church worship teams so is away at practice almost every Tuesday evening. He decided to take a break from teaching Sunday School in September of this year. He had been teaching the youth class for many years previous. The church hired a new intern youth pastor who stepped into this role nicely and John has enjoyed the break. He is still the most phenomenal daddy! I often joke that he's a better parent then I am, except I'm not joking. Funny, I dreamed my whole life of being a mom and before the girls, he really couldn't care less if we had kids or not, yet he's definitely got some serious parenting skills that I lack. We balance each other out, it's all good. But if you ever need your baby swaddled, call him. He's the swaddle master and our girls are both too old for that now so I'm sure he'd be happy to lend his talents out! I just fall more and more in love with him all the time, and I know that sounds mushy and cliche but it's so very true. He's always willing to step up and help out with anything I need, or watch the kids so I can have a break. He challenges me in my walk with God and pushes me out of my comfort zone. Love you babe, here's to another great year!

Mandi: (aka me!) January found me still teaching piano and babysitting Levi three days a week. The kids and I pretty much hibernated until winter was over, it was difficult to get out with a baby, a 1 year old and a 3 year old! The girls had their birthdays in March and I planned a joint party with both our families with a PINK theme. I started working out again (I had been on good routine in 2014 until we went to Vegas, then it all came to a stop) and I've been keeping at it since April. I feel so much better when I get 30 minutes of exercise a day in. My sister and I and a group of friends signed up for Foam Fest which we did in July. It's a 5K filled with obstacles involving lots of foam, mud and giant inflatable slides. It was so so so fun and we are already planning to do it this next year. Also in July, my very best friend in the whole wide world got married and I got to be a bridesmaid. The wedding was in Winnipeg and I made two weekend trips out in a row, one for the bachelorette the week before and then for the wedding the next week. My sister came with me for the first weekend, then the whole family traveled out for the wedding. I loved the whole weekend, but my very favorite part was the night before, when just us girls were hanging out at her place after the rehearsal. We live so far apart from each other and we text alot, but hardly ever get to see each other in person for an extended period of time so I so enjoyed spending hours just chatting. Definitely a highlight of my summer. In August I directed VBS at our church for the third year. It was an awesome (and really hot) week with lots of kids out and lots of fun! In September I started the year with 10 piano students and have now worked my way up to 12 (maxed out). I love teaching and love all my students. This has been my best year yet! I went down to watching Levi twice a week, but he still sometimes comes 3 days depending on schedules. We love having him in our home! I play piano on one of the worship teams at church and teach children's church once a month. It's been a fairly low key year, especially after 2014, and I've enjoyed so much getting to spend my days at home with my girls. I can't believe how fast they are growing and soon they'll both be in school so I'm soaking these days up as much as I can!

Cassidy: Cassidy has had an exciting year! She turned 4 in March, which thrilled her to no end! We also registered her for preschool in September. She has been wanting to go to school since she was 2 so needless to say she was very excited! She took swimming lessons in the spring and did so great! She passed and is looking forward to going again next spring. She got to go meet her teacher a week before school started and she goes Monday and Wednesday afternoons for 2 hours. As I figured, she has transitioned beautifully into the school setting. I actually had to force her to hug me goodbye the first day. She knows the routine, she's made some friends and I love all the crafts and stories she brings home! She asks every day if she gets to go to school and is looking forward to her first Christmas concert in 2 weeks, where she will be performing songs they've been working on. We also registered her for Kindergarten at Valley Christian Academy, a private school in the next town over, and found out a few weeks ago that she has a spot there! Her cousins go there and she'll get to ride the bus, both things she is very much looking forward to. Cassidy also goes to Sunday School at church and they are also working on a Christmas program that's coming up soon. She has many good friends and enjoys when they come over to visit or when she goes to their house to play. Cassidy loves playing at the park, her Barbies, making up stories, coloring on walls, tormenting her sister, reading, all her grandparents, and dancing to the Charlie Brown song that she makes her mommy play over and over again. She still talks non-stop and says some of the funniest things I've ever heard. She is seriously strong-willed and some days are a struggle but we are slowly working on how to channel her stubbornness into something good. She makes me want to pull my hair out and smother her in kisses all in the same breath. This has been the best stage so far and I am excited to watch God continue to work in her life!

Aviannah: Our dear tiny little Avi had a rough start to the New Year. She managed to catch RSV (a nasty respiratory virus) which landed her in the hospital for 5 days in isolation. We made it through, she recovered nicely and has gotten a whole lot stronger since! She turned 1 in March and celebrated by learning to crawl. She crawled her way through summer and started walking (finally!) at the end of September. She has a handful of words and is picking up new sounds every day. She is the biggest goofball we know. She has the funniest expressions and uses her cuteness to her full advantage. She is crazy busy, even more so then Cassidy was at that age, which I didn't think was possible! If she's out of sight, she's into trouble. She rewards people she loves with the best hugs and kisses and continues to charm everyone she meets. Aviannah loves books, goldfish crackers, opening cupboards, unrolling the toilet paper roll, emptying Kleenex boxes, snuggles with Mom and Dad, sucking on her two middle fingers, her bottle, tormenting her sister, dancing and shrieking just because. We love everything about her and her determined personality both thrills and terrifies me. She is still tiny for her age, but catching up quicker and quicker all the time. She continues to beat the odds and we are so thankful for her! 

Highlights of 2015 (that I didn't mention above): 
- we (ok, John) made our half bath into an ensuite and redid the back entrance. Still in love with it.
- we welcomed a new pet to our family, Cinnamon the hamster.
- Maya (the other, jealous pet) ate said hamster a month later. Lesson learned. Dogs and hamsters don't mix.
- celebrated birthdays all March long.
- we enjoyed a very early, hot spring with lots of outside time!
- I enjoyed a girls weekend away in Edmonton in May with my mom and sister (Eric and his girlfriend also joined us for one day).
- we visited Wanuskewin park with my family for Father's Day. I had never been, it was a fun afternoon.
- Kinsmen Park re-opened in August and we checked it out, it's fantastic! 
- John and I spent 4 days in Banff at the end of August to celebrate our upcoming anniversary. This was hands down the highlight of the year. We had such a wonderful, relaxing time away getting to re-connect and enjoy things like sleeping in, lingering over a long meal at a restaurant and talking without getting interrupted every 5 seconds. Oh yeah, and exploring a cave, riding up a mountain and hiking- those things were good too!
- enjoyed a visit from my brother and his girlfriend over the Labor day weekend (they both live in Medicine Hat so we don't get to see them that often, but we're going there for Christmas!!)
- celebrated 5 years of marriage in November!

All in all, it's been a great year! As always, we give thanks to God for the many blessings He's given us and we look forward to what 2016 has in store! 
Love the Letkemans!

Our Journey to Cassidy (Part 3)

December 26 arrived! We had finished out Christmas Day with John's family and woke up excited and ready to go get our girl! We had invited his family over again that evening so Cassidy could meet her other aunt and uncle and her cousins! My dad was planning to meet us over at David and Judy's to help take apart the crib. They were letting us take all the big furniture they had (crib, playpen, exersaucer) plus all her clothes and toys which was a big help! Here's another memory that is burned into my brain- as we drove up to their apartment we saw birth mom holding Cassidy at the door waiting for us. Cassidy was still in her pj's and they both waved at us. The look on birth mom's face got my tears started. She looked like she was in absolute agony. We helped her get Cassidy dressed while Dad helped David take the crib gone. Judy was out, she didn't think she could handle being there during that time. Everything was finally ready to go and it was time to say goodbye. I remember feeling so awkward and not sure how to properly handle the situation. How do you even begin to express your gratitude when someone is handing over their baby to you, no longer theirs but yours? I was at a loss. We hugged, cried and left. I remember John saying to me on the ride home that the best way we can show our thanks is by taking good care of Cassidy for her. I do that to the best of my ability every day. It's the very least I can do.

The drive home was amazing! I kept looking back and seeing a little brown head poking over the carseat. It didn't feel real that she was coming home for good! It was naptime when we got home and we all had a nice long nap. The rest of the day went great, we went for a walk and finished setting up her nursery. Family came over in the evening and all had a great time meeting Cassidy! The weeks to follow were full of introducing her to more family, our church family and friends! Her adoption didn't get completed until March 2013, a few weeks before she turned 2 due to some bumps in the road, but by God's grace she became legally ours forever! She just got home from preschool as I was in the middle of writing this and she gave me a hug and said "You're the best Mommy in the whole world!" I still feel like I don't deserve her. Every day with her is a gift and they are definitely not all easy, but I wouldn't trade any of them! 

Apart from the obvious blessing- her!- Cassidy's adoption has brought about some other wonderful blessings. We have built a wonderful relationship with both sets of her birth grandparents. We love them like family, and they've both willingly and joyfully adopted Avi as their granddaughter alongside Cassidy. They have become so very dear to me and I can't imagine our lives without them in it. Sometimes I go through times where I struggle to trust in God's perfect plan, but I don't have to look any further then Cassidy and Avi's stories to remind myself how incredibly faithful and good He is! I have every reason to trust He knows what He is doing. 

Our Journey to Cassidy (Part 2)

I am horrible at keeping secrets, especially big, juicy, exciting secrets! I knew that we really shouldn't be mentioning this meeting with anyone, because she hadn't officially chose us and nothing was certain. Yet, I wanted people praying and I needed to tell SOMEBODY! I called my parents and siblings, and we told John's parents what was going on. My best friend, who lived not near me at that time, was on Facebook chat that night and I told her what was going on because she's my favorite person to freak out to! We talked for a long time and I unloaded all my feeling, good and bad. I don't think I slept much that night.

That next week seemed to take forever. I mentioned to a couple of my co-workers about our  meeting (remember, bad secret keeper!) Everyone was so excited and I wasn't sure how to feel. I was trying not to get my hopes up just in case this all didn't work out, but I was terrified at how hard I had already fallen for baby Cassidy, or at least the idea of her. Oh, did I forget to mention? Her name is Cassidy. I know, I know, I totally just gave away the ending but you all know how it ended anyway! So yeah, the week dragged by but during that time we made arrangements to met with the birth mom, both sets of grandparents and of course, baby Cassidy! We planned to meet at Thomas Cook in Saskatoon on Saturday, Nov. 26 (I can't remember the exact time).

Saturday arrived and I was a wreck. We pulled up to the restaurant at the same time as James and Sylvia (John's parents friends and Cassidy's grandparents). John knew them but I didn't so we did introductions and went inside and got a table. We found out that birth mom was having car troubles in Regina and wasn't going to be able to make it to the meeting, but had given David and Judy (other grandparents) a list of questions to ask us. We were the first ones there so we made small talk while we waited for the others to arrive. Then, there she was. I can still picture this next moment down to the smallest detail. David and Judy walked in with Cassidy. She was all bundled up (it was winter!) with a white toque on her head. Now, we had no idea what she looked like. We were never told any of her physical features or given a picture. I have always wanted a baby with a head full of dark hair. Her toque was covering her head but the first thing I noticed about her was her piercing blue eyes. They were absolutely stunning! I couldn't even believe how beautiful she was. I stared as Judy got a high chair for her and sat her down, then pulled the toque off her head. I think I may have gasped out loud, for she had a head FULL of dark hair! I could not take my eyes off her. We did another round of introductions and started the interrogation. Yes, it very much felt like an interrogation, although everyone was extremely nice. I remember answering their questions as best I could, but I couldn't stop staring at Cassidy and I just wanted to hold her so bad! Finally, they asked if I wanted to hold her and both John and I got a chance to snuggle her. She didn't make strange with us at all and we snapped some pictures of her with us. They all really seemed to like us and were excited at the prospect of us becoming Cassidy's parents. I can't remember how long we stayed for, but eventually we said goodbye. We drove to my parents house because I was dying to show them pictures! 

That night we got home and found that birth mom had written us a long email with a bunch more questions. We answered all of them right away and sent her a reply. She added me on Facebook and we ended up chatting a bit then she asked if she could call us. I said sure, she called right away and not too long into the conversation she told us she'd like us to be Cassidy's parents. I think I was in a state of shock. The whole day was so overwhelming and emotional and I was not expecting her to make a decision so fast. But...we said yes!! None of us knew what the next step should be, so I told her I'd call social services in the morning and find out. Again, no sleep that night!

I'm going to skim a bit over this next part. Basically, we learned that the birth mom had to be the one to take the first step in contacting social services to start the adoption process. I relayed this information to her and we didn't hear anything for 4 days. Again, I was a wreck. We had already started gathering baby items and telling people, and for the first time I thought it was over. She wasn't going to be ours after all. I remember reciting Philipains 4: 4-8 over and over again. I clung to those verses and tried to stay positive. Finally we heard from birth mom. She had contacted social services and the process had begun! The month of December was absolute madness. Christmas was the farthest thing from my mind. We started doing small visits with Cassidy to help ease her into the transition from one home to another. We met with David and Judy at Wendy's (and also met birth mom for the first time there as well). We asked if they wouldn't mind bringing her over to my parents so they could meet her. They agreed and we got to introduce Cassidy to my parents. I remember my mom took her right away and went to show her the Christmas tree and I could barely see through the tears welling up in my eyes. I had waited for this moment for so long. We started talking about the actual day she would come home with us. The adoption would be completed after this fact, so it was really up to birth mom as to when we would get her. At first she told us before Christmas, then she decided that she wanted one last Christmas with her so she said after New Year's sometime. I felt a little like I was being jerked back and forth and just wanted to settle on a date. 

In the midst of this, we again set up another meeting with Cassidy. This time John and I went to pick her up and take her back to our place for the afternoon. This was so surreal! We got home and played with her a bit, John's parents came over to meet her, then we tried to put her down for a nap. This was a big fat failure. She got really worked up and would not go to sleep. She looked absolutely terrified and I felt sick to my stomach. What were we doing? How could we take this little girl away from everything she ever knew? Maybe this was a mistake. I knew we weren't taking her, she was being given to us, but it felt like we were in that moment. We finally decided to go for a drive and that put her right to sleep. We brought her back after driving around for a while and went home exhausted. Our first parenting experience was not as blissful as we had hoped!

December 26 was picked as the day Cassidy would come home with us for good. Her birth family was super generous and let us have her for Christmas morning as well. We took her to my parents and my sibling and my grandparents got to meet her for the first time. That was such a special day! She did amazing and charmed everybody. She helped us open presents, stayed for lunch then we brought her back for naptime. I remember driving away after we dropped her off thinking of tomorrow, when we'd be driving away with her and never be bringing her back! One more day...

To be continued (sorry, it's a long story!)

Our Journey to Cassidy (Part 1)

I always get really nostalgic this time of year, and it's not for the reason you think. From the end of November to the end of December in the year 2011 was the whirlwind month where we went from finding out we were going to become parents to actually becoming parents! As I was reminiscing about that time, I realized I have never shared Cassidy's adoption story on this blog. I started this blog to chronicle our 2nd adoption journey, and I have briefly touched on aspects of our 1st adoption, but never in detail. I did write a note summarizing the story on Facebook as it was unfolding, but there's so much more I could say now. I figured maybe you'll enjoy the read, but at the very least I will have it written down for one day when the details aren't so clear in my brain (I still feel like it was yesterday. Maybe I'll always feel that way.) I love Cassidy's story. It's so different in every way from Aviannah's, and yet it's so obvious in both their stories how God orchestrated every single step. I'll never get over it.

So...I guess her story goes back to our wedding day, November 13, 2010. We both had previously discussed that we wanted to get started on the adoption process as soon as we were married. We had no idea where, what, when, how to even begin but the one thing we fully expected was that it was going to take a LONG time. We waited until the honeymoon and the business of the Christmas season was over, then in January we started researching. I immediately became utterly overwhelmed as I looked into different countries, prices, agencies, etc. At this point I didn't have a network of other adoptive parents to tap into for advice so I felt completely on my own and lost. We made an appointment at the Adoption Support Centre of Saskatchewan (in Saskatoon). This appointment was the a huge help for us. She explained about private, domestic and international adoption and gave us many different options and encouragement! I specifically remember her talking about private adoption, and that sometimes an adoption happens by way of word of mouth. A pregnant woman may hear about a couple looking through adopt, and is able to, with the help of lawyers and social services, give her baby to them without the baby having to go in the system. She told us not to get our hopes up, that that scenario is extremely rare and almost never happens. (cue foreshadowing!)

So we left that meeting and immediately applied with the Ministry of Social Services to be put on the list to adopt domestically through the gov't of Saskatchewan. We requested 1 and under and were told that this could take 10+ years or might never happen because most people request that age bracket. (We are still on the list, and nope, haven't heard a thing in almost 5 years). But we applied anyway, trusting that if this was the means to our child, God would make that happen. In February we got an email saying we were officially on the list. Easy peasy! I have to also interject here that we had a rough first year of marriage, and that's putting it lightly. Bringing children into our at that time very fragile marriage was the last thing either of us wanted, but we still wanted to be proactive in the hopes that things would get better with our marriage (which they very much did!) 

In March of 2011, something interesting came up. John's parents went out with a couple that they used to attend church with. They hadn't really seen much of each other and were getting together to catch up. (I hope that's correct, that's how I remember it but correct me if I'm wrong, because I know you both are reading this!) John and I came up in conversation and they mentioned how we were newly married, and also how we planned to adopt. This couple then told John's parents that their daughter was pregnant and was looking to give up her baby for adoption. They asked if they could give her our names. John's mom called me that night and after talking about it, we agreed. I was excited, John was not. He was not ready and in hindsight, neither was I but who was I to say no to a baby? I felt that this was something we could not pass up. We both assumed she was newly pregnant and we'd have some time to prepare if she chose us. Well, we were wrong! She was due that month. We didn't hear a thing about it again until after the baby was born and we learned that it was a girl and that her birth mother decided to keep her after all. Honestly, we were both relieved. We were not ready and this was best. I do remember still feeling a twinge of disappointment and I recall very vividly driving to work the next day after hearing the news and praying that this baby girl would be loved, no matter what. That whoever she ended up with would provide her with all the love and care she deserved. I didn't even know her name. 

Life went on. Our marriage slowly started improving. We enjoyed a lovely summer together in which we sold our trailer in Osler and bought a house in Warman. We loved our new-to-us home with 4 bedrooms and a park right outside our back fence. Perfect for starting a family! In August we again heard some news regarding Baby Girl (you know, the one mentioned above?) Apparently her birth mother had decided to move to Regina and had left the baby, now 5 months old, with her grandparents in Saskatoon (different set of grandparents then the friends of John's parents). These grandparents had actually been pretty much raising the baby at that point anyway. We learned that the other set of grandparents (John's parents friends) were pushing their daughter to give her baby up for adoption, as it seemed she wasn't ready to parent her child at that point. Again, our names were brought up to her. At this point, I felt much better about it. We had a much more child friendly home and were a bit more stable then 5 months ago. John still wasn't ready and I knew we both had to be on the same page. By God's grace, again nothing came of that initial conversation. We moved on. Again. 

November came and we celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary! One week later exactly, on November 20, John's mom phoned us. She said that Sylvia (her friend and baby's grandmother) was wanting to speak with us. I said that was fine, and later that evening Sylvia phoned. Unlike the other phone calls, this one changed our life. She told us that their daughter had finally made a decision and was ready to give her baby girl up for adoption. She was still living in Regina, and baby girl was still in Saskatoon and she wanted to meet with us the following weekend. John and I said that yes, we would meet with her. We hung up the phone and I remember my very first thought being "What is he thinking?" I looked at him and saw something different in his eyes then the two previous times this baby girl had been mentioned to us. Was it...excitement? Hope? Was I just seeing what I wanted to see? I asked him what he thought. "Yes," he said. I started shaking and we both dropped to our knees and prayed right there. He told me after we finished praying that he had asked God at one point for a year of marriage before any children came along. Remember the date I mentioned earlier? This phone call came one week after our first anniversary. I don't believe in coincidences. 

Part 2 coming soon...

Bye Bye Summertime

It`s been 3 months since I've been on the blog. Definitely not intentional, and I don`t know if I'll pick it up at all. When I started I was writing more for you then me, to keep you updated on our adoption journey. Now I'm writing more for me then you, so I can look back here later and be reminded of what life looked like then. I suck at keeping a journal and typing is WAY better, faster, and neater then writing so this blog is my journal, I guess!

Summer 2015 is over! It was awesome and I really do feel like I made every moment count. Summer is my favorite season and I always find myself in a period of mourning when it's over, but I don't this year! Believe it or not, I am looking forward to fall. I went through both girls clothes yesterday and traded summer clothes for fall clothes and it made me almost giddy, thinking about cozy oversized sweaters, boots and scarves. You will NEVER find me wishing for winter though. I hope we get a nice long fall this year.

This summer was absolutely wonderful! My favorite thing about summer this year was the free evenings. During the school year I teach piano Wednesday and Thursday nights and Tuesday night is worship team practice at church. Mondays and Fridays we intentionally leave open but they always fill up too. Our church doesn't run worship teams through the summer and I don't teach then, so that left all our evenings open and it. was. glorious. Every night after supper John and I would be like "So what are we doing tonight?" That we even had that option was so refreshing for me! Next week both worship teams and piano starts up again so this is my last week of freedom and I am making it count! 

Some highlights from this summer:

-My sister, some friends and I did a 5K at the beginning of July. It wasn't your typical run, it was chalk full of obstacles and foam! It was called Foam Fest and it was SO much fun! I am not a runner at all, so this was perfect for me, as there was an obstacle every 100 feet or so and we just enjoyed it as a group and didn't worry about doing it fast. Definitely doing it again next year!

-I was a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding at the end of July. She lives in Manitoba so I was out two weekends in a row, for the bachelorette, then we all drove out for the wedding. I so enjoyed the wedding weekend, especially the night before when us girls spent the night at her place. We've lived apart for a few years now and I've missed her so much and being able to spend time talking face to face was wonderful! The wedding was beautiful, the weather was HOT and I never danced so hard in my life! 

- During August long weekend we went to a nearby beach for the day. We never did do an overnight camping trip this year, so we figured we needed to squeeze at least one day in at the beach. It was the perfect day for it and the girls had so much fun in the water and the sand. 

- I directed VBS for the third year at our church mid-August and it was a blast! That week was also a scorcher and our church has no air conditioning but we all survived, no one got sick, and we had a great turnout. I'm especially excited because my parents invited their neighbor's son (non Christian family) who came and had a great time, and his family has been in church every Sunday since then! My biggest goal was to reach the community and even that one family coming has made it all worth it!

-And the BIGGEST highlight of the summer came at the end! John and I will be celebrating 5 years of marriage in November (what?) so we wanted to do a special trip. We decided to go to Banff during the summer, when the weather would be nicer. I've never been and John hasn't since he was a kid so we were both excited! We left the girls with my parents for the first chunk and John's parents for the last day. We were gone 5 days which is the longest we've ever left either of them, so I was definitely nervous but they did so awesome and we had the best time. We hiked and ate and walked and ate and spelunked (highlight!) and biked and ate and shopped and slept and it was just wonderful! We also got along so well and didn't argue the whole week! Not that we argue a lot anyway, but I was impressed with how well we got along. We talked about our honeymoon and where we were then and now and we really have changed alot in 5 short years. It really does get better every year and I'm so thankful that I have such an amazing husband to do life with!

So that was summer! Now it's fall, and along with that comes more change! Cassidy starts preschool next week (2 afternoons a week) just down the street from our house. Tomorrow morning we go to meet her teacher. She is ecstatic about it and I am too! I'm pretty sure I won't cry on that first day, but I guess we'll see! I can't wait to see her grow and flourish over this next year! Avi is THIS close to walking (she's been taking a few steps today) so I have no doubt she'll soon be busier then ever. Levi comes two days a week and he is so much fun to have around. Leesa has been living with us for a year and is starting her 2nd year of university. She is such a big help to have around. I'm kinda hoping she'll stay forever! (mmkay sister?) 

That was a big update, but that's where we are now! Who knows when I'll get around to blogging again, so thanks for reading and see you when I see you!