I always get really nostalgic this time of year, and it's not for the reason you think. From the end of November to the end of December in the year 2011 was the whirlwind month where we went from finding out we were going to become parents to actually becoming parents! As I was reminiscing about that time, I realized I have never shared Cassidy's adoption story on this blog. I started this blog to chronicle our 2nd adoption journey, and I have briefly touched on aspects of our 1st adoption, but never in detail. I did write a note summarizing the story on Facebook as it was unfolding, but there's so much more I could say now. I figured maybe you'll enjoy the read, but at the very least I will have it written down for one day when the details aren't so clear in my brain (I still feel like it was yesterday. Maybe I'll always feel that way.) I love Cassidy's story. It's so different in every way from Aviannah's, and yet it's so obvious in both their stories how God orchestrated every single step. I'll never get over it.
So...I guess her story goes back to our wedding day, November 13, 2010. We both had previously discussed that we wanted to get started on the adoption process as soon as we were married. We had no idea where, what, when, how to even begin but the one thing we fully expected was that it was going to take a LONG time. We waited until the honeymoon and the business of the Christmas season was over, then in January we started researching. I immediately became utterly overwhelmed as I looked into different countries, prices, agencies, etc. At this point I didn't have a network of other adoptive parents to tap into for advice so I felt completely on my own and lost. We made an appointment at the Adoption Support Centre of Saskatchewan (in Saskatoon). This appointment was the a huge help for us. She explained about private, domestic and international adoption and gave us many different options and encouragement! I specifically remember her talking about private adoption, and that sometimes an adoption happens by way of word of mouth. A pregnant woman may hear about a couple looking through adopt, and is able to, with the help of lawyers and social services, give her baby to them without the baby having to go in the system. She told us not to get our hopes up, that that scenario is extremely rare and almost never happens. (cue foreshadowing!)
So we left that meeting and immediately applied with the Ministry of Social Services to be put on the list to adopt domestically through the gov't of Saskatchewan. We requested 1 and under and were told that this could take 10+ years or might never happen because most people request that age bracket. (We are still on the list, and nope, haven't heard a thing in almost 5 years). But we applied anyway, trusting that if this was the means to our child, God would make that happen. In February we got an email saying we were officially on the list. Easy peasy! I have to also interject here that we had a rough first year of marriage, and that's putting it lightly. Bringing children into our at that time very fragile marriage was the last thing either of us wanted, but we still wanted to be proactive in the hopes that things would get better with our marriage (which they very much did!)
In March of 2011, something interesting came up. John's parents went out with a couple that they used to attend church with. They hadn't really seen much of each other and were getting together to catch up. (I hope that's correct, that's how I remember it but correct me if I'm wrong, because I know you both are reading this!) John and I came up in conversation and they mentioned how we were newly married, and also how we planned to adopt. This couple then told John's parents that their daughter was pregnant and was looking to give up her baby for adoption. They asked if they could give her our names. John's mom called me that night and after talking about it, we agreed. I was excited, John was not. He was not ready and in hindsight, neither was I but who was I to say no to a baby? I felt that this was something we could not pass up. We both assumed she was newly pregnant and we'd have some time to prepare if she chose us. Well, we were wrong! She was due that month. We didn't hear a thing about it again until after the baby was born and we learned that it was a girl and that her birth mother decided to keep her after all. Honestly, we were both relieved. We were not ready and this was best. I do remember still feeling a twinge of disappointment and I recall very vividly driving to work the next day after hearing the news and praying that this baby girl would be loved, no matter what. That whoever she ended up with would provide her with all the love and care she deserved. I didn't even know her name.
Life went on. Our marriage slowly started improving. We enjoyed a lovely summer together in which we sold our trailer in Osler and bought a house in Warman. We loved our new-to-us home with 4 bedrooms and a park right outside our back fence. Perfect for starting a family! In August we again heard some news regarding Baby Girl (you know, the one mentioned above?) Apparently her birth mother had decided to move to Regina and had left the baby, now 5 months old, with her grandparents in Saskatoon (different set of grandparents then the friends of John's parents). These grandparents had actually been pretty much raising the baby at that point anyway. We learned that the other set of grandparents (John's parents friends) were pushing their daughter to give her baby up for adoption, as it seemed she wasn't ready to parent her child at that point. Again, our names were brought up to her. At this point, I felt much better about it. We had a much more child friendly home and were a bit more stable then 5 months ago. John still wasn't ready and I knew we both had to be on the same page. By God's grace, again nothing came of that initial conversation. We moved on. Again.
November came and we celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary! One week later exactly, on November 20, John's mom phoned us. She said that Sylvia (her friend and baby's grandmother) was wanting to speak with us. I said that was fine, and later that evening Sylvia phoned. Unlike the other phone calls, this one changed our life. She told us that their daughter had finally made a decision and was ready to give her baby girl up for adoption. She was still living in Regina, and baby girl was still in Saskatoon and she wanted to meet with us the following weekend. John and I said that yes, we would meet with her. We hung up the phone and I remember my very first thought being "What is he thinking?" I looked at him and saw something different in his eyes then the two previous times this baby girl had been mentioned to us. Was it...excitement? Hope? Was I just seeing what I wanted to see? I asked him what he thought. "Yes," he said. I started shaking and we both dropped to our knees and prayed right there. He told me after we finished praying that he had asked God at one point for a year of marriage before any children came along. Remember the date I mentioned earlier? This phone call came one week after our first anniversary. I don't believe in coincidences.
Part 2 coming soon...
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