Happy New Year

Hello 2015!

This morning I mentioned on Facebook that this will be the first year since we got married in 2010 that we are not pursuing an adoption of any kind. I've been thinking on that some more and I really can't believe that we've been in the adoption trenches for 4 years!
We got married in November 2010 and finished off that year just being newlyweds and adjusting to marriage. (I still feel like I'm adjusting to marriage, but I also still feel like a newlywed. Guess that's a good thing!)
Janurary 2011 we hit the ground running and applied to adopt domestically through Saskatchewan. We were not given much hope that anything would result of that, but we figured it was a good place to start. In February we heard of a pregnant young lady looking to give her baby up for adoption privately. Her parents were friends with John's parents so they passed on our names to her but we didn't think much of it, as our marriage was a bit of a struggle at that point. Actually our whole first year was pretty miserable, but that's another story for another time. We heard that she had a baby girl on March 30 and had decided to keep her. We figured that was the end of that.
The next few months we didn't actively pursue anything. We sold our trailer and moved to Warman which kept us busy enough. In the fall once we were settled in our new place, we started researching different countries that might be an option for us. We decided that even though it was outrageously expensive and a huge step, we would try to adopt from the United States. We got an application to an agency and began filling it out. It sat on our kitchen table for a few days and then on Nov. 20, exactly one week after our 1st wedding anniversary, we got a phone call. You know that baby I mentioned before? Turns out her mom had made the decision to give her up for adoption after all and we were one of the couples she was deciding between. (Sorry if you know this story, but I know I haven't blogged it before). One week later we met Cassidy Breanne Adele Boone. She was beautiful and perfect and I fell in love. That night we talked to her birth mom on the phone for quite a while and she decided to let us be Cassidy's parents.
Well...life just went nuts after that. December was madness with figuring out what the next steps were, getting baby items plus the usual busyness of Christmas. My aunt also passed away that month. Emotions were definitely running high. On Dec. 26 Cassidy came home. So 2011 started with an adoption application and ended with a baby!
2012 started with us as new parents. Cassidy transitioned into our home so nicely. I was worried that it would be hard on her since she was 9 months old but she did amazingly. We spent that next WHOLE year trying to get her adoption finalized. It was a long road with lots of bumps, some bigger then others, and it was stressful to say the least. Her birth family still wanted to maintain a relationship with her and I struggled with trying to respect that and intense fear that they were going to take her away from us. My heart was in agony. On one hand I was overjoyed that I finally got to be someone's Mommy and on the other hand I was scared it wasn't going to last. 2012 came and went and Cassidy still was not a Letkeman.
I had high hopes for 2013 and thankfully, our prayers were answered and in March the adoption went through. Relief does not even begin to describe how we felt. We had already decided that once her adoption was done, we were moving full speed ahead into adoption #2. I was terrified. Cassidy's adoption had really done a number on me and I didn't know if I could handle another one like that. But we didn't want an only child. So I gave it to God and in July we pulled out that application from 2011 and started down the road of international adoption. This story you know, if you've been reading my blog. We ended 2013 on the wait list and 2014 was dubbed the Year of the Baby.
2014 lived up to that title and Aviannah came home in June. We spent the rest of the year having monthly visits with our social worker and the year ended with her adoption getting finalized.
So...that brings us to 2015! Just recapping all that has me exhausted! So what now? I have no idea. I'm relieved that we are not currently in the adoption process. I need a break. I am in love with my girls and I can't imagine our family any different then it is right now. When we first brought Avi home I thought I would never want to adopt again. I was so done, but already my heart has been softening to the idea. We've decided that we're not going to pursue anything for the next couple years unless God tells us otherwise. If he drops another baby into our laps Cassidy-style, fantastic! If not, fantastic.

I have grown to love not knowing what's around the next corner in life. It forces me to trust God and to let go. It makes life more interesting and I always love a good surprise! I also love the fresh start of a new year. I know that January 1st is just another day and God gives fresh starts every day but there's just something about looking back and reflecting on the year gone by and seeing a whole new year in front of you, full of promise. I have no idea what lies ahead but I can be excited about it and here's why- I walk with a God who never changes. He was the same last year as He is this year. Nothing in life is certain except Jesus. And that's why I can walk into a new year unafraid. Whatever this year brings, whether joy or sorrow, I know that I am God's child and He is my Savior and that will always be enough for me.

Hello 2015!