Yesterday was 6 months to the day that we met Aviannah for the first time. 6 months ago she was this tiny thing hooked up to wires. I remember tears filling my eyes as I looked upon her face for the first time. I remember the nurse scooping her up and placing her in my arms and her feeling so so tiny. I remember asking John to take a picture because I wanted that moment captured forever. Now I'm sitting on the couch with the laptop on my lap and she's sitting beside me, all by herself, playing with her toys and smiling at me. I don't know how it's already been 6 months and I don't know how it's only been 6 months. Part of me feels like she just got home and part of me feels like I've known her forever!
In case you didn't know, Aviannah's adoption was not finalized while we were in Las Vegas. Our agency required that we have 6 post-placement visits with our home study practitioner, one a month, and if those all went well then we would be able to finalize. We've had 5 visits so far and our last one is booked for December 6th. This week I talked to our lawyer's secretary in Nevada and she sent us the adoption order for us to sign and send back to them. Once they've received the report from our last visit, our lawyer will appear in court on our behalf and the judge will (hopefully!) make us legally Aviannah's parents. I'm so glad that we don't have to travel for this last part and that we can send important documents back and forth via email and fax. I like the 21st century. Oh yes, and of course there's another fee. It's only another $1000. Funny how when you pay a gigantic sum of money like $35,000, $1,000 doesn't seem like anything at all. Money has been tight for us lately, but we'll find a way to pay it of course. There's no turning back now!
Each time we've had a visit, she always writes up a report and sends it to me to edit it before she sends it to our agency. Each time I read them I'm always so humbled by the wonderful things she says about us. She makes us sound really good. I don't always feel really good. In fact, most times I feel like it's all I can do to make it though the day. I lose my patience with Cassidy. I let her watch too much TV. I forget to bath them. I just want to be alone sometimes. But I do love them. I love them with an intensity that scares me sometimes. And I guess this comes across because she seems to get that part right.
I can't wait until this is all done and legal. It already feels done. We've been Aviannah's parents for half a year already. A piece of paper isn't going to change that. Sure, it'll change her name and it'll change who has permanent custody of her, but it doesn't change who we are to her and who she is to us. Still though, it's the final FINAL step in her adoption journey. The icing on the cake. And the icing is my favorite part, don't you know!
I get this question alot "Are you going to adopt again?" I usually answer with this "Right now I don't want to, but give me a couple years." I would love more children, I really would. As I've said before, I dread the idea of adopting again now, but I think it's because it's all so fresh. Once we've had a couple years to get used to the idea again, I wouldn't be at all surprised to be found blogging about adoption #3. Of course, everything is up to God. Maybe we'll adopt again in a few years, maybe we'll adopt again next year, maybe we'll never adopt again, who knows? Right now I'm praying about it. I'm praying that God will prepare us for whatever He has in store and that we would be obedient to His voice. I'm looking forward to what's next, but also just really enjoying what's now. God is good, all the time.
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