Finally...an update!

Every day I check our email hoping for an update! I figured today might be the day, since it's been exactly a month since we've been waiting. And lo and behold! An update from our agency! (Seriously, I love them.)

Our profile has been presented once this month and they are hoping to have some new birth parents in soon so we can be presented again, was the word I received. I honestly didn't know what to expect, but hey! One family has looked at our profile! That's pretty exciting!

We had a joint fundraiser with two other adopting couples last Friday and it was a great success! We didn't have as big a turnout as we were hoping, but we got a lot of silent auction items and people were very generous with the offering. We each made $800. It's hard when you need such a huge sum of money and you put so much effort into fundraising and come out with just a small chunk each time, but John reminded me before the evening started that it's more money then we had at the beginning of the night. So true! It was a great evening where God was worshipped and really, how can we ask for more then that? 

I honestly believe that if this adoption is God's will for us, the money will come. He will provide. He has been so faithful to us and we must be faithful to Him in return. 

I can't believe we've already been waiting for a month. That flew by! I already can't wait to hear what this next month has in store for us! 

Moments Like These

Cassidy has always been a stellar napper. She's two months shy of 3 years old and she still takes a 2 hour nap everyday. She has always been good at putting herself to sleep but lately she's been having some trouble going to sleep on her own.Thankfully it didn't take long to find a solution to the problem. I leave her alone for about 30-45 minutes and if she is still not asleep, I go in, kneel beside her bed and gently rub her stomach and sing Jesus Loves Me to her, over and over, until she falls asleep. It works like a charm, every time.

And I love it.

I love that she wants me to sing to her  
I love that her favorite song is about how much Jesus loves her.
I love that when I start to sing, she lays completely still and just stares at me.
I love watching her try so hard to keep her eyes open so she can keep looking at me, but slowly and surely they grow heavier and heavier until they close.
I love watching her after she's fallen asleep, seeing her mouth twitch into a smile and wonder what she's dreaming about.
I love those quiet moments in the dark, where I'm forced to be still and just be with her.
I love the most that in those quiet moments, she still seems like my baby and not the big girl she is growing into, much too fast for my liking.

Like everything else in life, these moments in her room, just me and her, will surely come to an end. So I'm going to enjoy them while I can. And even though she won't remember them, I always will.

I Take It Back

So we've officially been on the waiting list since the end of December. Almost a month now. I remember back when we were up to our necks in paperwork and I kept thinking "I can't wait until we're on the wait list. Just waiting will be so much easier then filling out what seems like all the forms in the world."

I take it back.

My dear husband told me the other day that I am the most impatient person he knows. While I think this may be a teensy bit of an exaggeration, it's probably not far from the truth. I've never been good at anything involving patience. And this? Waiting for a phone call telling us that someone out there wants to give us their baby? Um yeah. This involves more patience then has ever been required of me. But that's the beauty of Christ. He takes us through situations that He knows we can't handle on our own, then through our weakness we become strong through His strength, His power. 

**Disclaimer: If you call me on the phone and I sound a tiny bit disappointed, please don't be offended. I love getting phone calls, but every time the phone rings I can't help wonder if it's THE ONE!

It really does feel nice that right now, nothing is required of us. We have no forms to send in, no payments to make, no nothing. It's funny because up until a few weeks ago, I was communicating with our agency almost daily, at least 3 times a week and since we've been on the wait list, there's really been nothing to discuss so I haven't talked to them in 2 weeks and it feels like forever! We should be getting an update on who's been viewing our profile in a couple weeks and I can't wait for that! 

I keep telling myself that a month is a very short amount of time, and I never expected that we would hear anything in a month. I'm hoping by summer we'll at least have a date set, but even then I'm trying not to get my hopes up. It doesn't help that every. single. day. Cassidy asks me if we're getting our baby today. She knows we have to go on a trip to pick it up and this morning she told me "Mom, Daddy's at work but we can take Auntie Leesa's car to go get our baby!" (We're storing my sister's car in our garage while she's in Belize). Thankfully I just have to tell her that we're not getting the baby today and she is satisfied with that answer. 

I didn't really have a point to this post, but it feels good to get my feelings out into words and I know many people who appreciate me keeping them in the loop. I am just appreciative of anyone who reads my ramblings! So yes, nothing new to report right now. I am already dreaming of the day when I get to tell you all when our baby is due! 

No Turning Back

"I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back,  no turning back"
...Ok, yes that is true but the words in my head go something more like this: 
"Oh we have sent down our very first payment, no turning back, no turning back!"

Up until now in this whole adoption process, we haven't put a whole lot of money into it. There's been small fees for pieces needed for our home study, ordering and sending our books, yada yada, but that's all been costs we've been able to pay for out of our main bank account, not our savings, where all the money we've been fundraising and getting as gifts for our adoption has been going.

But NO MORE!

Today I wired down our first official payment. OOOH! This payment is actually one of the smaller installments but it was big enough that we had to dip into our savings. All of a sudden, this all feels very real. We have actually invested a good chunk of money into this adoption. Money that we have worked hard to raise and that others have generously given out of their own pockets. BUT! It's going to be worth it! Oh, is it ever going to be worth it!!

I have to say that so far I am super impressed with the agency we've chosen. Choosing an agency was actually the most stressful part of this entire process (to date). I talked to a lot of different people, researched online, got references from other people and we prayed hard that God would lead us to the right agency. What an amazing answer to prayer! I was nervous when we decided to go with Premier Adoption because no one else in SK had ever worked with them. They were super excited to take us on board and expand their clientele and from the first conversation I had with them, I just felt like it was right and so far it has been! 
We do most of our communicating through email and I am always blown away at how quick they are to respond to my emails. I will usually get a response either hours later, or early the next morning. The one time I had to wait 3 days, they apologized profusely. They are always eager to answer my many questions and the biggest thing I like about them is, even though we've never met in person, they seem genuinely excited for us. We're not just another client, but they really seem to care about our situation. 

We got an email from the caseworker assigned to our case the other day. Now that our profile is active, she will be contacting us monthly to keep us up to date on who's been viewing our profile and if there's any change we should make or things like that. We are also on the website! There is a page of all the waiting families for birth mothers to view and we are right at the top! First thing they see! 

I'm just full of excitement these days! Every once and a while I'll stop and think "I wonder if someone is looking at our book right now!" That is an incredible thought. Right now, as I type these words, someone could be choosing us for their baby!! Please continue to pray for us as we wait, that we would have patience and that the right family would be led to us. Also keep praying for our finances to come in. We're over half way there but still have a ways to go. 

As always, thanks for reading! 

P.S. Cassidy is very aware that we are raising money to get a baby and most of the bank tellers now know her by name. Today I told her we were making a trip to the bank (3rd one this week) and she says "Yay!! We get to buy our baby today!" She's going to be so confused when she learns where babies really come from! But for now, if she wants to think we buy them at the bank, I'm gonna let her! Ah, sweet innocence...